Pretty Average

Ask me anything   So...

horror movie opening scene

white girl:i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy:come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl:you're just trying to scare me.
white boy:lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl:babe what that??
white boy:i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl:zack!!!
white boy:ha ha just kidding!
white girl:asshole!
white boy:im just playin babe
white girl:that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy:i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl:zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl:ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl:ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen:BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
— 13 hours ago with 101472 notes
gaywrites:

We went to the party, and, as I figured, some of the guests laughed and made comments. One said to me, “Do you think this is funny? There are kids here. You want them to see this?” Another said, “You want him to be gay?”  

And I stayed calm. And I explained to them the best I could that there is no correlation between kids cross-dressing and being gay. And if he is gay, it’s not because of anything I did. It’s because he’s gay. And maybe it’s a stage. And maybe it’s not. But either way, I don’t want him to ever feel like he wasn’t able to express himself because his parents didn’t support him. And some understood. And some, trapped by religion or ignorance, gave us the stank face. 

Plenty of people are supportive. They’ll see my kids — Sydney with her long dirty blonde hair, and Asher with his short dark hair, and say, “I love your daughter’s pixie cut.” When I tell them he’s my son, they smile and say, “I love it.” They also apologize for confusing his gender, but I tell them, “Don’t apologize. He’s in a purple dress with sparkly shoes. How would you know?” I know there are parents who get worked up when you confuse their kids’ gender, but I’m not one of them.

I get home before my wife most nights, so I was taking the kids out to walk our dog. They were dressing up in different outfits, my daughter treating Asher like her doll, as she tried various dresses, shoes, and headbands on him. And then Sydney told me she wanted me to wear a dress, too — “Oh my god, it will be so funny.”

I said, “No,” but she kept begging. I said, “People will laugh at me.” She said, “If they do, I’ll tell them to go away.” And I couldn’t argue with that, as I squeezed myself into Carrie’s most flexible dress. We walked the dog on our block, and the pleasure my kids took in seeing their dad go out of his comfort zone trumped the humiliation I felt.

Carrie pulled up to the house, and I saw her slacked jaw from the end of the street. She laughed. She took a picture. And she told me I better not rip her dress. And then we all went for a pizza.


(My Son Wears Dresses And That’s OK With Me | Seth Menachem for xoJane)

gaywrites:

We went to the party, and, as I figured, some of the guests laughed and made comments. One said to me, “Do you think this is funny? There are kids here. You want them to see this?” Another said, “You want him to be gay?”  
And I stayed calm. And I explained to them the best I could that there is no correlation between kids cross-dressing and being gay. And if he is gay, it’s not because of anything I did. It’s because he’s gay. And maybe it’s a stage. And maybe it’s not. But either way, I don’t want him to ever feel like he wasn’t able to express himself because his parents didn’t support him. And some understood. And some, trapped by religion or ignorance, gave us the stank face. 
Plenty of people are supportive. They’ll see my kids — Sydney with her long dirty blonde hair, and Asher with his short dark hair, and say, “I love your daughter’s pixie cut.” When I tell them he’s my son, they smile and say, “I love it.” They also apologize for confusing his gender, but I tell them, “Don’t apologize. He’s in a purple dress with sparkly shoes. How would you know?” I know there are parents who get worked up when you confuse their kids’ gender, but I’m not one of them.
I get home before my wife most nights, so I was taking the kids out to walk our dog. They were dressing up in different outfits, my daughter treating Asher like her doll, as she tried various dresses, shoes, and headbands on him. And then Sydney told me she wanted me to wear a dress, too — “Oh my god, it will be so funny.”
I said, “No,” but she kept begging. I said, “People will laugh at me.” She said, “If they do, I’ll tell them to go away.” And I couldn’t argue with that, as I squeezed myself into Carrie’s most flexible dress. We walked the dog on our block, and the pleasure my kids took in seeing their dad go out of his comfort zone trumped the humiliation I felt.
Carrie pulled up to the house, and I saw her slacked jaw from the end of the street. She laughed. She took a picture. And she told me I better not rip her dress. And then we all went for a pizza.

(via arizonaandcounting)

— 1 week ago with 25494 notes

tastefullyoffensive:

Movies That Can Be Described With The Same Sentence

Icy dead people OMG hahaha

(via cokedevoted)

— 2 weeks ago with 200892 notes

thr-ill:

have no regrets

except all those facebook pages you liked back in 2009, regret those

(via dutchster)

— 2 weeks ago with 295087 notes

bentohiro:

fruitpacks:

some straight people are gayer than gay people

are you fucking serious put 12 straight high school boys in a room overnight and you will bear witness to the gayest party in existence for fucking real straight boys do the gayest shit without being gay it is a fucking talent

(via overentertainment)

— 3 weeks ago with 231758 notes
mostlyloki:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.THATS THE SPIRIT.THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

And I’d have more of an urge to rebagel it if didn’t have that reaction

REBAGEL

mostlyloki:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.

THATS THE SPIRIT.

THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

And I’d have more of an urge to rebagel it if didn’t have that reaction

REBAGEL

(Source: niggablanco, via arizonaandcounting)

— 1 month ago with 471305 notes

tobiaswraithwall:

adriofthedead:

airdotcaptain:

things that make me laugh harder than they should:

gifs made with terrible stationary parts

image

image

image

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

— 1 month ago with 331266 notes

metallicpunk:

I have found the mother of all fuck her right in the pussy videos

(via dutchster)

— 1 month ago with 97634 notes

barnse:

hi i’m peter man i mean i’m spider parker i mean fuck

(via dutchster)

— 1 month ago with 226799 notes

morgrana:

dead-pendragon:

hOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE A PLANE THO

you forget to cherish it

image

(via overentertainment)

— 1 month ago with 99245 notes

lovingcaptainswan:

lipstick-lesbian:

thattwatdeziree:

deafeningechoes:

lunabriluna:

cartelgathering:

kwills88:

I have like the weirdest boner right now.

This is so much better than that “kissing strangers for the first time” video

One of the guys is from Victorious. I liked this though.

I loved this.. So much better than the kissing one.

This is fantastic

I love this so much and a lot of the girls were dimes

this reminds me of the movie thirteen when the girls are sitting on the bed slapping eachother

Did no one notice Haley Joel Osment… LOL

(via cokedevoted)

— 1 month ago with 347210 notes